Disgusted reality

Lights of the dawning day was a splendid sight this morning. Colorful with pink and yellow lines run over a dark sky also bringing out the brightness of the sun little by little. It was the part of the day i love and at the same time dread to watch. It reminded me of the endless days ahead of mine. Everyday starts with a prayer with a thin hope of it being a bright day and not a page from my nightmares. Slipping between my fingers were the hopes which i held everyday.

Gambling with my chances, laughing at fun, crying and sulking at pain and disgust, those were the curses of the never ending reality. Prisoners of the providence, laborers enacting the most insignificant role in the heavenly drama, this could be the reality.

Everyday is a crime to build on. To be a logical person to find logic in everything i do, finding logic behind life created by the holy crusader is impossible.

I will cry. I will laugh and I will cry without knowing the reasons for today and days to come.

This post might make sense to some people who stood to think what have they been doing all along in the so called thing called LIFE.

A day under the influence of the wild

After a lot of thinking (Time Taken: 1 minutes), I came up with this title. Title given to this article would not justify the experience I had today. It was not always true that one should do things to experience. Sometimes listening to the experience of people who had dedicated their lives for a certain cause would certainly help us understand what it was like. 

Quote:

“Silla samayam nerrulla pakkuratha kaattilum, unna mathiri sollurathe ketkum pothu romba bayama irrukkum”

-          Pizza Movie

Before I dive into details, I will clarify a lot of things at first

As you people can see I had found time to blog once again. The reason behind it was obvious, either I could be chucked out of the company or I should be in bench. The former might come true but the latter was the present scenario. As I was struggling to pen down something worthy for my second book in my bed room, my mom asked me to get out of the room as the room had gathered dust. I still didn’t know why she was looking at me when she stressed the word “dust”. And I leave it for the geniuses and warlocks to articulate on that gesture.

So where was i? Yeah right. That left me with no other choice except to go to office…

Fastforwarding….

a)      Was in Chennai One

b)      Was in Siruseri, EB3 waiting for karunanithi…

c)       MIGRAINE!!!

d)      IRC Enquiry – Author Talk

e)      Sitting in an Auditorium 

And there met the lady with the smile. Sometimes you would know whether the smile was for real or the one faked but in this case, it was 100% pure truth. 

She was Janaki Lenin, Wife of Romulus Earl Whitaker.

“Romulus Earl Whitaker (born May 23, 1943) is a herpetologist, wildlife conservationist and founder of the Madras Snake Park, The Andaman and Nicobar Environment Trust (ANET), and the Madras Crocodile Bank Trust. In 2008, Whitaker was selected as an Associate Laureate in the 2008 Rolex Awards for Enterprise, for his efforts to create a network of rainforest research stations throughout India. In 2005 he was a winner of a Whitley Award for outstanding leadership in nature conservation. He used this award to found the Agumbe Rainforest Research Station in Karnataka, for the study of King Cobras and their habitat.”

She was there to deliver a speech on her book “My husband and Other Animals”. Without any knowledge about her background, even I laughed at the hilarious title but when she switched on the ppt the first slide had a picture of a lizard… and the next one had a toad and the next had a centipede… and finally a leopard…

 Everyone in the room crawled and wriggled in their seats seeing those monstrous images of tiny fear inducing creatures. Being the first row, I didn’t have any choice except to hide my immediate reactions with a hand to my face and a hand to my heart from jumping. She was smiling at the audience and since I was the first one face her, I had to reciprocate the same. 

And when she asked, “Are they not cute???”… That was the heights. She laughed at the captivated audience so said “that’s what happens when you are with a partner like my husband”. And then the real fun started as she explained every slide and told us the story behind her house near Chengalpattu which once was a dry waste land and now a forest where wild leopards breed.

She is currently surrounded by reptiles and snakes which might usually cause harm but she simply answers the questions put forward to her regarding her safety as “she adjusts” 

It was horror mixed with human tendency to adjust and adapt. She was once fearful of the snakes but then she adjusted as her husband had taught her to. She was not living the lives of the cows where the routine of milking followed every single day. It was the life of the uncertainty and constant vigilance. A girl who was brought up in a city like Chennai adapting the life of a herpetologist was something phenomenal. There was something which was binding her with her partner. That was well expressed when someone asked about her personal life on how does she like her relationship. She answered I wouldn’t be much happier doing something else.

I had the opportunity to meet such a nice lady today. My 24 kms travel was worth it. It gave me the experience of living in a forest within those 60 minutes.

Trial & Triumph

Morning sun has known my weakness, ever since the day I remember, to shine its rays right over my eyes. I cursed myself for choosing this room, for the benefits of its size, instead of the one which my sister holds. Mine is a small room, filled with all kinds of things, ranging from books, laptops, a system, guitar and everything I hold dear to my life. No matter, how big my interests grew; my room always had space for more and still has. I acknowledged the fact, “Small is beautiful” which made me love this room, except for the everyday early morning “waking up” part. My mom has done her job really well; my black curtain had been pulled up, making way for sunlight.

Sleep has left my body but not my mind; I was still in between reality and a dream which I couldn’t recollect. I sat there at the foot of the bed, holding my face in both my palms. I pulled my memories back to my remembrance. My first thought was her, not about her or for her.it was her. Should I call it true love or just a random thought which my mind came up with?
Day before yesterday was the day, I first, met her in this life, the first of the best days, I thought I should remember. But I missed the only connection. I barely knew her or should I say, I dint even know her name at first. Which I later got to know from one of my friends.

MAYA…

She walked through the same hallway in my office building, which I have taken, a million times but never felt anything special about it. But the moment I saw her, I knew there was something in the hallway which made me meet her and I promised to say my thanks to it. Should it be my early take off from office, or her late working hours shift?

Our eyes crossed each other’s, while her’s moved away from me, while mine stayed over her and followed her till she left a hole in my soul and got lost in time. I unconsciously ignored the reason for my early take off. I had to meet one of my friend who invited me for a movie.

It was day before yesterday.

But yesterday was not one of my days.

I waited at the same hallway, sitting near the side-by stairs, searching for her face in amidst the faceless crowd but she was nowhere to be seen. I was scared enough to think “whether she dint come today”, as that moment wasted on thinking would be enough for her to slip my eyes. As time flew, finally the crowd came to rest and the density began to lean itself.

There was something struck inside my mind,

“Sitting there, I felt happy and sad.
The reason for being there.
Be her and no other.”

My first poetic words escaped my mind, which I stored in my android, for someday I might read it for her. Time passed and I had to leave yesterday.
But today, I really wanted to wait for her, as long as it takes. Even if I had to stay a whole day at the stairs. I don’t mind.

I got ready to impress her. my brown eyes looked prominent in the mirror, with the hair falling over my face, I couldn’t get the bright picture of myself, I pushed it, away from my eyes and picked my best blue stripped shirt, along with a black pants, which according to my view, best suited me. I sprayed the best decolonge I had, as I hoped, there would be a wild possibility that my proximity with her might get reduced today. I stood before the man sized mirror, which had been in my room forever. During my previous stays, I was careless enough to even not remember there was one, until today. The things around me, began to strike a chord inside my head. I got dressed for love and took my guitar with love and placed it over my lap, dust flew from the bottom of the instrument, as it had been long, since i played a tune in it. I hummed the song, which I felt, I played pretty well without spoiling it with my voice. I felt absolutely positive about everything.

My journey to my office was completely painless. The distance of 24 kms din’t appeal much to me today, like it used to before. The traffic rules and regulations of my country din’t feel much stupid, as I followed it with cheerfulness.

“Glad hope and aimless life,
they are not mine anymore.
To be something, which she really wants is my aim is to be.”

I reached my office ,parked my bike without occupying another’s rightful place. I walked through the same hallway to my department. The floor was shining brightly, like it was smiling at me. I gaily entered my department. And not to my surprise, my boss had allotted, a plenty of work for the day, but I dint complain like I used to. I dint waste any moment cribbing over it; I dived deep into the workload and came up victorious at the end of the day, right on time to meet her.

I packed all my stuffs and went to the same hallway, which remembered and greeted me with the same smile. There was a lot lesser crowd, than usual.

My wait has been seen and my agony has been felt by god and there she was, gracefully walking with her friends (two guys and three girls) towards me. Ofcourse, they should be friends and I don’t mind friends, It was a thought for my convenience, for them to be her friends and nothing more. Looking gorgeous as she ever could be. There I was holding the handle of the stairs to avoid showing my nervousness.

There was one important thing, I forgot.

“What will I talk to her???”

I began to panic and turned my head away from her as she walked past me. Her fragrance entered my nostrils and my nervousness coupled with it, forming a shrilling pain in the back of my neck.

Maya stood near the fruit shop talking to her friends and occasionally laughing at the lame jokes cracked by one of those guys, who looked heart breakingly handsome.

I gulped my heart which came to my throat.

I said to myself, “I could do better than that guy. After all, I am good looking too… I think so… Atleast ok looking..”

But there was fear, with a mixed sensation of a turning mill running rigorously, inside my stomach which made me, stick at the very place I stood.

My eyes involuntarily shut and my head went above. For a second, I thought, I should give up this idea. My life is good; nothing is going to happen even if, I don’t talk to her. But before I could finish my thought, there was a sweet tune, playing inside my head out of nowhere; just a melody which makes body sway and my body began to dance for it. A tune which can be heard only between us and only when we are near each other. I just wanted to know, if she can hear it too. Thinking of all the great changes which happened in me, within the past two days.

I moved towards her and my body readily agreed to it, “Excuse me”, I said
She turned to my side. her eyes meet mine while her curled hair cuddled her cheeks.
I looked right through her eyes where I saw my face. I never knew I could look all the more handsome, in her eyes. I got lost in the tune.

“Dude, stay focused and speak”, something from inside said

But it was all in vain; I was dumbstruck to even open my mouth after that.
Her pink lips and her eyes were filled with confusion and her skin was not flawless but it was a design, over a beautiful painting, which made it stunning and made me look at it forever.

She just kept staring at me, not knowing what this is all about…

And I stood there, not knowing what is happening…

…………………….